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wars128
Warrant Officer Posts: 663 Podcaster  
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Hey everyone!
i'd like to know everyones favorite hatchet/sword story! like like funny moments, or first times, or near imposible hits..etc GOOD and BAD.
Some of the stories may be used on my podcast about Battletech.
Thanks!
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Falchion
Lieutenant Colonel Posts: 11245 Why...So...Fuzzless?
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| A piece of advice, don't use your hatchet to swat infantry. We still laugh he who we shal not name at my school gaming club about that incident. |
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wars128
Warrant Officer Posts: 663 Podcaster
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A piece of advice, don't use your hatchet to swat infantry. We still laugh he who we shal not name at my school gaming club about that incident.
Is that possible? if I remember correctly, Kai Allard-laio hit a couple toads while in a Hatchetman on Twycross...
But that would be utterly stupid to do against regular infantry, only killing 1 infantryman per turn... |
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incrdbil
Catalyst Demo TeamPosts: 2030
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| With the flat of the balde, battle armor troops are of some use on a 'Mech baseball game. |
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Commando #128
In difficult ground, press on;
In encircled ground, devise stratagems;
In death ground, fight.
Sun Tzu,
The Art of War
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dart_omega
Major Posts: 4851 "Heroes aren't born or made, they're cornered"
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A atlas refit with a Ax and TSMs.
the Atlas got close to a damaged Zeus X(cannon one) and rolled a finished off all of the CT crits and we clamed it was chopped in half.
that was funny and we could not stop laughing and had to stop playing until every one could sit up with out falling over.
then there was the funny moment when a Hatchetman cut down a Spider doing a DFA.. it was a 11 and the pilot rolled a 12.
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Falchion
Lieutenant Colonel Posts: 11245 Why...So...Fuzzless?
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Is that possible? if I remember correctly, Kai Allard-laio hit a couple toads while in a Hatchetman on Twycross...
But that would be utterly stupid to do against regular infantry, only killing 1 infantryman per turn...
He got a bit preoccupied and didn't notice the other soldiers sneaking up with satchel charges.  |
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Loud Howard
Corporal Posts: 88
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MM game
Axeman jumps off a cliff and DFAs another mech, knocking it to the floor. In the next physical phase my Axeman puts his weapon right through his cockpit glass.
I can just picture a 65-tonner performing a flying ninja-kick and then decapitating his opponent while he's rolling aound on the ground |
Thanks to Skuggi and SpetznazCowboy for the userbars
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MistWolf
Lieutenant Posts: 977 Mom Warned Us!
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My son is running a Hatchet Man with TSM (a rare and expensive commodity in our campaign) and has been aching for a chance to crack someone open with it. He runs up behind a mech, needs something like a 4 to hit and rolls a 3. Another time he planned his assault well only to have his Hatchet Man go down during the firing phase. Another time the Hatchet Man shot down a heavy mech, knocking out the engine with three crits. The dice are falling his way- to hit this helpless mech he needs only to roll a 3 or higher. He's grinning knowing he cannot fail. Yes, my son rolled Snake Eyes! Finally, after many weeks of play, he traps his opponent while standing in level 1 water. My son makes a successful attack roll with the hatchet for the first time. "YES!" he shouts and rolls for hit location. It's 9- left leg and he hits the water instead. The Hatchet Man's blade still has yet to taste mech armor in combat.
Another player had an 80 custom mech he designed with a hatchet he's played for many years. Recently, NAIS gave him a set of TSM to test. During it's first battle with the new myomar, a careless and previously damaged Jenner fell victim to the biting blade. A hit was scored, shearing through the right arm, right torso and went internal on the center torso. The Jenner did not fall. Once more the mighty Hatchet fell, this time destroying the left arm, left torso and again went internal on the center torso. We were stunned. With one remaining point of internal structure, the Jenner had withstood the attack.
It was great fun watching an 80 mech chase after the heavily mauled Jenner for the next few rounds, to destroy the single point of internal structure left holding it together |
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"This is the Inner Sphere- Thousands of planets colonized by human kind. Once it was united under the Star League, but for the last three hundred years it has been consumed by savage wars- until a new enemy appeared. Mysterious invaders known as The Clans. Powerful and ruthless, they strike like lightning, attacking every sector at once. But they made one big mistake- They attacked my home planet! Now, in the spirit of the Star League, ancient enemies have united. Now we're going to take back our galaxy!
“Come, Melissa. Let us return and prepare for tomorrow night.”
“Why Hanse? What are we doing tomorrow night?”
“Same thing we do every night, Melissa- Try to take over the Inner Sphere!”
WARNING! Prolonged exposure to enemy fire may cause your AKU-1X to explode
I want an HK 91
Last Edit by MistWolf
05 Feb, 2007, 19:29:02 pm
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DragonClaw
Major Posts: 5603 I'm still here.
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| A Ti-Tsang (with warmed up TSM) hatcheted a fresh Zeus in the head and on the next turn hatcheted a fresh Salamander in the back side torso and set off the ammo. So, in 2 turns an entire Steiner flank was turned by one heavy Mech. It was quite spectacular. |
Nobody's perfect. I'm a nobody, therefore I must be perfect!
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garhkal
Captain Posts: 3010
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A atlas refit with a Ax and TSMs.
the Atlas got close to a damaged Zeus X(cannon one) and rolled a finished off all of the CT crits and we clamed it was chopped in half.
that was funny and we could not stop laughing and had to stop playing until every one could sit up with out falling over.
then there was the funny moment when a Hatchetman cut down a Spider doing a DFA.. it was a 11 and the pilot rolled a 12.
Sounds almost like my Barbarian... A 90 tonner, with TSM and a hatchet... Ran up to a Behemoth (clan versus IS game) survived his onslaught, and hit him in the head for 36 points... The opponent said it split his head in two, and went into his chest.
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It's not who you kill but how they die!!!
You cannot dodge it if you don't know it is coming, and you cannot shoot it if you don't know it is there.
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mughi3
Warrant Officer Posts: 706 metal guru
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reminds me of the conga line
i ran my no-datchi 2ko up behind my wifes axeman 1N and she ran her berserker up behind the no-dachi
20 point hit to the center torso rear on the no-datchi tickles something good. |
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i put my faith in artillery
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Martius
Lieutenant Posts: 889 CAESAR VOS OBSERVAT
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An ASN-40 (A sword equipped Mechforce UK design, that somehow made it on the Marian RAT in FM: Updates) knifed an undamaged AS-7K in the back and hit the LRM ammo.
Commentary from the Atlas' player: I always thought only D&D assassins have a death attack. 
edit: we use floating crits, of course. |
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Daghda
Captain Posts: 2562 The Ticks: Always at our post.
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During a wonderful game where I got to play using a Scarabus I managed to kill off all of the enemy mechs with physical attacks...and never once swung the hatchet.
I kicked the leg of a commando and it had enough damage that the kick went internal on the rear of the mech and the kick blew the ammo.
a couple of rounds later Blaine Pardoe (yes that Blaine Pardoe) fires a nice shot at an enemy mech in the head with a PPC. I finished it off with a kick to the head from a level higher up in the physical phase of the same round.
Finally I pushed an enemy Exterminator (or was it an Enforcer) off the map with a charge needing an 11.
The whole time during the game I was bragging how I was going to cleave a mech with the hatchet and I never once used it. |
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God and Davion
Lieutenant Posts: 1451
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| We had a mathc between a Berserker C3 and a No-Dachi. The No-Dachi hit 3 times in the back the Berserker, nearly crippling it. Finally, the Berserker catched him with the Axe. Only once. It kiled it. It looked like a bug trying to kill a mountain. |
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Feret
Lieutenant Posts: 1203
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a buddy in our current game has been dieing to get a Beserker. So we decided for kicks we'd do a simulation of what happened.
The Beserker closes with the rest of his lance on a Clan star. Before the Mech gets within swinging range it takes enough hits to the arm to blow the hatchet away. ROFLLMAO man I must have laughed pretty hard at that one Especially since it was all megamek  |
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DragonClaw
Major Posts: 5603 I'm still here.
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Before the Mech gets within swinging range it takes enough hits to the arm to blow the hatchet away.
That seems to be SOP most of the time for our group. Arm blown off or hatchet critted before it can be used. |
Nobody's perfect. I'm a nobody, therefore I must be perfect!
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LastChanceCav
Captain Posts: 2790 The LCC - Pirates! in adventures with Scientists
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I think the current dev of mega-mek has it in for my Beserker. Twice I've gotten to a range where MASC will allow allow me close with the enemy and twice the MASC has snake-eyed. Both times have cost me a hip actuator and a nasty fall. The second time a Firestarter strolled up and kicked my head in while I was down. I haven't used a mech with MASC since.
I guess this doesn't really have anything thing to do with axing my opponents other than I never seem to get the chance. |
Reposession has its price Loyal son of Chesterton Ah the pity. Fated to drift forever through the void as gravity's plaything. Oh cruel fate ... to be thusly boned.- Bender In the land of the blind the one eyed man is king.
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Eric Icaza
Major Posts: 4023
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With the flat of the balde, battle armor troops are of some use on a 'Mech baseball game.
Beavis & Butthead: "Heh, heh. Heh, Heh. Toad baseball!!!" |
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Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.
P.J. O'Rourke, All the Trouble in the World
There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
P.J. O'Rourke, The Liberty Manifesto
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garhkal
Captain Posts: 3010
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a buddy in our current game has been dieing to get a Beserker. So we decided for kicks we'd do a simulation of what happened. The Beserker closes with the rest of his lance on a Clan star. Before the Mech gets within swinging range it takes enough hits to the arm to blow the hatchet away. ROFLLMAO man I must have laughed pretty hard at that one Especially since it was all megamek
In all the games i have had hatchets, i can only cound 4 times i lost a hatchet (or the arm it was on) to weapons fire before i got a chance to use it. Heck i have had almost 10 more mechs go out to head shots before they could close in to use the hatchet. |
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It's not who you kill but how they die!!!
You cannot dodge it if you don't know it is coming, and you cannot shoot it if you don't know it is there.
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Demi-Precentor Worktroll
Precentor Hosehead ModeratorPosts: 14912 Fear me! I am McKenzie Dominus, eh!
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In the campaign over at BattleCorps.com, we have an assault lance with two of the new TSM'ed Berserkers. Ideal for a city fight, with all that ECM ... in the right conditions - eg. not on flat open terrain - they're quite intimidating.
At one point, both managed to get the drop on a Rifleman. THey slice! They dice! Yeah, maybe we should have picked on someone our own size. But it was fun
W. |
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"Worktroll, building an army worthy of Mordor since, well some time now." - TripleG
"I thought that the mods and admins tolerated our hijinks like a pet owner watching his gerbils play-fight in their pen." - MadCatBob
"Other robot games are fads. Theywill pass. Battletech has the support of large, suspender-wearing men with Jerry Garcia beards. Our cause is just. We will last forever." - 3rdCrucisLancers
"BattleTech: Helping old bald guys live out their fantasies since 1984." - icchan
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Nerd
Major Posts: 5701 Gentleman Ranker: God ha' mercy on such as we
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| I regularly use a 2N Axeman. I find it best for cleaning up what's already been shot up by its LRMs and the Blackjack-O's double UAC5's. The Large Pulse and mediums to close with, then start with the hatchet. |
AFFS High Command Participant Recipient of the Order of the Hedgehog, Third Class. "It is upon the Navy under the good Providence of God that the Wealth, Safety, and Strength of the Kingdom do chiefly depend." - The Articles of War, Enacted by Parliament, 1661 "O sons of Avalon, go forward! Free your native soil. Free your children, your wives, the churches of your fathers, and the tombs of your ancestors! Now the fight is for all that." Exhortation given before the Battles on New Avalon, Jihad
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Top Sergeant
Catalyst Demo TeamPosts: 8010 6th Lyran Guard-- Got what it Takes?
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No Dachi player feeling good about his chances against a Catapult--the Cat ran right up to him and fired its ML's. So here comes the physical attacks phase:
No Dachi-- swing abd a miss!
Catapult-- kick and gets a crit, rolls 12 for crit result, No dachi legs comes off.
All players rib the No Dachi player for the next hour. 
-Top |
I am a scruffy pair of comfy jeans that God likes to wear when relaxing around the house. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck. - any given veteran sergeant"We hear that there are tumults and riots in Rome, and that voices are raised concerning the army and the quality of our soldiers. Make haste to reassure us that you love and support us as we love and support you, for if we find that we have left our bones to bleach in these sands in vain, then beware the fury of the legions."
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Blackimus_Primus
Warrant Officer Posts: 526 Canuck 100% Born and bred
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Well one night my game group decided to have a mech bash night with 2 sides using canon mechs from 3050-58. I picked a berserker, and a buddy had an Axeman and a few other mechs of heavy and assult mixed in with other friends. I was moving around doing what i could at range and trying to get my heat up to use the triple strength myomer. Now I should set a bit of the scene as we usually RP/Game in the 3020's-30's and are not really Uber tech savvy, And needless to say we don't always remember what this or that does.
So we were picking away at each other when i decided to use my pulses at nothing to get me heat up for the next turn to engage my Triple strength myomer. Buddy said "Yes heres my axe" and he smacked me with his axe for X damage, well i said, i have one as well, and triple strength myomer that is activated and hot. Needless to say i was able to vleave off his right torso with a resounding "El Kabong". And we still like retelling the story and the look on his face when i said what the damage was....lol |
" Well by the looks of it, we have them on the run. Only bad part is that they are running right for us" Artillery: Reach out and touch someone
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MistWolf
Lieutenant Posts: 977 Mom Warned Us!
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I'm gonna do a TSM'ed Zeuss equipped with a hatchet (stole the idea from one of my players) for my Black Snakes, a lance of 5 mysterious mechs that target the better gunners of merc units- especially those ignorant enough to sell their swords to the hated Davionistas. 4 of those mechs are Shadowhawks fitted with an AC20 and jumpjets. The last will be the industrial sized triple strength Zeuss. I think I'll call it Veg-O-Matic.
"Slices, dices and turns perfectly good mech-pilots into vegetables"
Thanks, Worktroll! And I'm sure my players will thank you too!  |
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"This is the Inner Sphere- Thousands of planets colonized by human kind. Once it was united under the Star League, but for the last three hundred years it has been consumed by savage wars- until a new enemy appeared. Mysterious invaders known as The Clans. Powerful and ruthless, they strike like lightning, attacking every sector at once. But they made one big mistake- They attacked my home planet! Now, in the spirit of the Star League, ancient enemies have united. Now we're going to take back our galaxy!
“Come, Melissa. Let us return and prepare for tomorrow night.”
“Why Hanse? What are we doing tomorrow night?”
“Same thing we do every night, Melissa- Try to take over the Inner Sphere!”
WARNING! Prolonged exposure to enemy fire may cause your AKU-1X to explode
I want an HK 91
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bpardoe870
WriterPosts: 326
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During a wonderful game where I got to play using a Scarabus I managed to kill off all of the enemy mechs with physical attacks...and never once swung the hatchet.
I kicked the leg of a commando and it had enough damage that the kick went internal on the rear of the mech and the kick blew the ammo.
a couple of rounds later Blaine Pardoe (yes that Blaine Pardoe) fires a nice shot at an enemy mech in the head with a PPC. I finished it off with a kick to the head from a level higher up in the physical phase of the same round.
Finally I pushed an enemy Exterminator (or was it an Enforcer) off the map with a charge needing an 11.
The whole time during the game I was bragging how I was going to cleave a mech with the hatchet and I never once used it.
Odd, I don't remember this. The last time I played was four years ago in Battle Creek MI. Was it in that session?
Blaine "Buck" Pardoe |
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"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here -- this is the War Room."
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Direwolf007
Captain Posts: 2229 Mortality makes war ugly and love beautiful.
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I sent two fire breathing (The flamers being used to keep up the heat) TSM'ed Berserkers at the enemy's right flank, the Thug stationed there ran of the hills, then eventually got himself hatcheted to heck.
In the end, the WoB Vanquisher ate a big axe swing to its leg, and off it went.
I've never seen the opposition be so afraid of two 'Mechs. |
-Lt. (Res.) Lev "Direwolf007" Arris, Navigation Team Leader, IDF (Active Service - 2001-2005, PBI). (Star Colonel Angelus, 69th Wolf Assault Cluster "Drakon Wolves", Clan Wolf-in-Exile - Ulric Assault Battlemech). (Lev Arris, Freelancer Mercenary Pilot - RCK-1T Rocketeer). Member of the Pundit CasteFounder, JM6 Haters Club - "Veni, Vidi, got wtfpwn3d".FGC Merc - Will Fight For BeerDire Wolf, Timber Wolf, just two different flavors of "You're @#%&ed."
"Only those who have never been to a war zone can ever think justice has any business there.""Privates withdraw, Sergeants will cover" - Order given at the battle for the "Castle", over the road to Jerusalem, Israeli war of independence, 1948. All commanders fell in the battle. All soldiers withdrew. This is what it means to command
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Daniel Kabrinski
Captain Posts: 2303
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I used to have a modified wyvern, fluffed where the arm lasers were replaced with 3 mediums and the left arm was replaced with the arm of a hatchetman (all level 1). Twas a real beast... only real design I had luck with a hatchet. With 4/4 skills I managed to get 4 kills in MM. 1st, killed a submerged urbie dumb enough to follow me into water. 2nd, a shadow hawk followed me into some woods and I teared him apart. 3rd, sniped something and killed it with my LRM's. 4th, closed in on a centurion while firing LRM's, got close enough and DFA'd it. I failed the roll to land and destroyed my CT, thus ending my reign of terror.
I found the hatchet useful as a backup for L1 games.  |
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Alexander
Corporal Posts: 85
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I don't normally use mechs with hatchets/swords, but a couple weeks back at our local BGWD event I had the opportunity to use the new WoB Seraph mech with the sword. The best part about this was that most of the players in our group were not aware of the new WoB omnis, which made it even more fun when I had this one pop out from hiding.
I managed to surprise a Starslayer and jump behind him. After a lucky roll, I managed to strike him with the sword. For location I rolled... snake eyes! First my actual damage goes internal... and I rolled a 9 for a crit. Then I rolled for the snake-eyes and got two more crits! But my luck faltered as I only managed to score two engine hits and one gryo hit.
So the opposing player panics. And decides his best course of action (even though several others said he was crazy) was to jump away from me... and crashing into the side of a cliff.
Overall pretty amusing. I actually have pictues of this, I just can't seem to get the dang things inserted.... |
What do you expect us to do, stand here and bleed? Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever....
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JadeHellbringer
Looney Tune ModeratorPosts: 24551 ...and hug him and pet him and call him George...
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2004. Ishiyama maps on Megamek.
Heavy Mechs are slugging it out in the caves... but my ON-2M is still unseen, sneaking around while others tear each other to pieces. I came out into a small clearing... and found a No-Dachi suddenly behind me, courtesy of Silverbear. He fired, but missed with most weapons... then swung the sword. Nailed the rear CT, crit, three hits, engine engine engine.
"Dude... you ginsued my engine out!"
I was impressed. |
Now its over, I'm dead and I haven't done anything that I want, or I'm still alive, and there's nothing I want to do Self-appointed Warden of the Washington D.C. Turkish Prison Crew
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